Yesterday I was in the woods tracking down a buck I had seen the day before - I had found him and the herd but they had taken off to another part of the forest. One had stayed behind to hang out with me for a while and I thought I had gotten some nice shots, but still I usually keep tracking for as long as there is daylight. Yesterday I just couldn't go on. The deer had gone down a slope into a ravine and up the other side and I could have followed but didn't have the energy. I thought about it and I thought about the trek around the ravine which I sometimes do - and a weariness came over me that I have not known before. I dutifully started the trek around the ravine because, of course that was what I was going to do, which took me through my favorite part of the woods where I often find the deer. Glancing all around, none were to be seen; they had run away from me; the buck had led them away. I wanted to keep going but my body felt heavier and heavier, and I recognized a feeling of grief that had been trying to come into consciousness. I had been pushing it down but I know that grief stays with us if left unattended, and I knew that it was going to have its way. I looked around for a place to sit and found a moss-covered spot on the ground. I never just sit down in the forest because I am so afraid of ticks, but surprisingly I sat down and let out a deep sigh. I wondered what was wrong with me. I began to explore all I was holding, all of the emotions. Awe for having found the powerful ten point buck again that I had seen yesterday for the first time, and hope that I had gotten a good photo. Joy from getting to hang around with the young deer that hadn't left with the herd and had hung around with me for about 30 minutes. Sadness that the deer were gone and I was too tired to follow. Anguish over the work we must do to heal our land, physically, emotionally and spiritually. Gratitude that lots of us are committing to this work. Disappointment that so many don't understand. Fear for myself and my loved ones in this time of uncertainty. Anger. Relief. Love. Confusion. Curiosity. As I sat I gazed at the beauty of this spot in late fall and wished that my deer herd would come back.
Then I saw him. Through the trees was a beautiful buck that I had never seen before, and he was looking at me, just like in the movies...
We just looked at each other like that, barely moving for about 30 minutes, then he moved closer and we looked at each other some more, and as time passed my heart grew with the wonder of this powerful interaction, and the knowledge that I would have missed this if I hadn't so uncharacteristically sat down on the patch of moss, too tired to worry about lyme disease.
And so, my slogan - "Go out there. See the things. Bring them back."
We bring things back - whatever it is to which we expose ourselves - we bring them back in our thoughts, our memories, and sometimes in a photo or in telling the story. We bring all things back and they become us and so we have a bit of a responsibility here. What are we bringing back and are we being proactive about it? Are we making good choices when we can? Are we bringing back what will support us when we need it most - resilience, joy, love, health - are we taking care of ourselves?
I got sick on March 13 and didn't start to feel like me again until sometime in May. I have lost 8 important people in my life since March 15. I have not gone to a single funeral but, living across the street from a funeral home, I have seen the bizarre ways death is being handled, or not. I have stories. So do you.
So. Pandemics suck. Now we know. What can we do about it?
Be intentional. Go out there. See the things. Bring them back. Take control of what you can. Stay connected! Eat well, exercise, get outside in the fresh air and sunshine or rain and snow - just get outside, journal, meditate, do yoga - do what you know works for you, and if you need help, get in touch with me. I can help you. One-on-one or in my groups. Sliding scale. I look forward to it.
Donna Havens MEd - Coach
Wayfinding and Well-Being
MEd Psych Counseling
Certified Holistic Health
www.donnahavens.com
"Go Out There. See The Things. Bring Them Back."
Then I saw him. Through the trees was a beautiful buck that I had never seen before, and he was looking at me, just like in the movies...
We just looked at each other like that, barely moving for about 30 minutes, then he moved closer and we looked at each other some more, and as time passed my heart grew with the wonder of this powerful interaction, and the knowledge that I would have missed this if I hadn't so uncharacteristically sat down on the patch of moss, too tired to worry about lyme disease.
And so, my slogan - "Go out there. See the things. Bring them back."
We bring things back - whatever it is to which we expose ourselves - we bring them back in our thoughts, our memories, and sometimes in a photo or in telling the story. We bring all things back and they become us and so we have a bit of a responsibility here. What are we bringing back and are we being proactive about it? Are we making good choices when we can? Are we bringing back what will support us when we need it most - resilience, joy, love, health - are we taking care of ourselves?
I got sick on March 13 and didn't start to feel like me again until sometime in May. I have lost 8 important people in my life since March 15. I have not gone to a single funeral but, living across the street from a funeral home, I have seen the bizarre ways death is being handled, or not. I have stories. So do you.
So. Pandemics suck. Now we know. What can we do about it?
Be intentional. Go out there. See the things. Bring them back. Take control of what you can. Stay connected! Eat well, exercise, get outside in the fresh air and sunshine or rain and snow - just get outside, journal, meditate, do yoga - do what you know works for you, and if you need help, get in touch with me. I can help you. One-on-one or in my groups. Sliding scale. I look forward to it.
Donna Havens MEd - Coach
Wayfinding and Well-Being
MEd Psych Counseling
Certified Holistic Health
www.donnahavens.com
"Go Out There. See The Things. Bring Them Back."
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